Attack on Mary Sue
by Yoruko-Chan
Summary: Wondering if your Oc's a Mary Sue? Or just wanna see another bashing of those overly perfect pricks? Then hop on a ridiculous and insane journey with Yamamoto Marianne Dia'mond Crystal Sapphire Tiara Sue, the queen of all Shingeki no Kyojin Mary Sues. WARNING: Mary Sue bashing. Wanna flame? DO IT HARD! T for language. Will continue. Accepting suggestions through PM. Please Review!


**Is your OC a Mary Sue?(Shingeki no Kyojin version).**

**A/N: Hi! You probably thought that I'm dead, :P But no, I'm alive~ Good news! I'm still accepting OCs for The Sky Dragon's Hell, my Fairy Tail WendyxOC fanfic! As the description says this fic is inspired by PorkyBuns' "Is your OC a Mary Sue?" (A Katekyo Hitman Reborn Fanfic). Ok, I'll stop my rambling and go on with the story. **

**Warning: Mary Sue-bashing, OOC, OC, unbelievable shit, language, and humor. Wanna flame? No problem. DO IT HARD.**

A Mary Sue ( or sometimes just Sue ), in literary criticism and particularly in fan fiction, is a fictional character with overly idealized and hackneyed mannerisms, lacking-Oh screw Wikipedia. A Mary Sue is a goddamn retarded bitch that is too good to be true, overly perfect, has a overly long, "unique" and hard to pronounce name, possesses multiple talents (while claiming to be "prodigious") and a "curvy/sizzling hot" body. A Mary Sue primarily functions as a wish-fulfillment fantasy for the author or reader. A male version of a Mary sue is often dubbed as Marty Stu, Gary Stu, Larry Stu or similar names.

Examples of a Mary Sue:

Hi, My name is Yamamoto Marianne Dia'mond Crystal Sapphire Tiara Sue, but you can call me Mary Sue since everyone calls me that anyways. Oh, did you notice my Japanese surname? That's because I'm Oriental. They say that Mikasa is the last Oriental, but NO, she's only HALF ORIENTAL since her father is a Caucasian. I'm a PURE ORIENTAL, since both of my parents are Asian. In fact, my parents were the ones that banished Mikasa's mother from our Oriental village since she married a Caucasian man.

Wait, you're asking "Hey, Hajime Isayama didn't say anything about an Oriental village! And aren't the Orientals extinct? The Titans eaten them all!" Well, who needs Hajime Isayama to tell you that an Oriental village! And sadly, yes. The whole Oriental Race was devoured by the Titans, but I survived because I am a Titan Shifter. No, I wasn't injected by a mad doctor like Eren was, my Titan Shifting genes are COMPLETELY NATURAL, you know.

Other than that, I am prodigious. I graduated the Training Corps at the age of like, five! Even Levi, Humanity's Strongest Soldier (and MY boyfriend) is jealous of my Titan-slaying skills! Actually, I was the original "Humanity's Strongest Soldier", but since I love my boyfriend so much and he loves me too, I quit the Scouting Legion and let him become Humanity's Strongest Soldier instead. Guess what is my profession now. A super skilled assassin that Erwin (who is also infatuated with me) hires to go on solo missions. I can single-handedly kill a whole district of Titans, for example, I single-handedly retook Wall Maria! Humanity rejoices, but I requested Erwin to not reveal that I was the one who retook Wall Maria because I am so damn humble and I don't want to take credit to what I could easily do.

Other than that, I kicked the Ape Titan, the Female Titan, the Armored Titan and the Colossal Titan's asses a long time ago, but since they won't say a thing when I interrogate them, so I let them go. Now, even the sight of me can scare the piss out of them. Levi pleaded me to recapture those damned Titans but I refused. I mean, why bother? I can kick their asses anytime i want to!

And did I mention that I am pretty hot for a teenager? Not just hot, but SIZZLING HOT. My skin is exactly the perfect shade of tan, not too dark and not too fair. My waist length hair is wavy, smooth, glittery and it never gets tangled. My hair also has this natural color of the rainbow with a beautiful tiara made out of diamonds, crystals, emeralds, rubies, sapphires and you name the rest. My eyes are naturally pink with hints of fuchsia, chartreuse, azure, amber, lavender, jade and vermilion. It changes color every time someone pisses me off. Guess the color? Blood red.

My Titan form is also way more hotter than Eren's, Annie's or anyone else's. Heck, all the Titans I fought in my Titan Form yesterday fell in love with me at their first sight. My Titan form is more muscular than all the the Titan Shifter's Titan form, and I also have this gigantic unbreakable diamond sword that can shoot out rainbow-colored lazer beams. I can also harden my skin and cast Titans away to an unescapable dimension! Mwahahahahhahaha!

Today, I am wearing the standard Scouting Legion uniform since I am supposed to disguise as a member of the Scouting Legion. Oh, instead of wearing a plain white shirt I wore a black sports bra that shows off my cleavage. I am a E-cup, just so you know it. Now everyone is looking at me. Hah, I am obviously the hottest human that ever lived, that is why Levi is my boyfriend and also why Erwin, Armin, Eren, Connie, Jean and Ymir fall for me. Yes, even Ymir. Sorry YumiKuri shippers, but you can't deny the fact that I am wayy more attractive than Christa Renz.

I was adoring my perfect self in the mirror when someone knocked the door. My perfect face scrunched up and answered it. It was Hanji pleading me to tell her more about the Titans and Armin that was blushing while saying that he wants to learn about how I can make a perfect fool-proof guaranteed to succeed strategy/plan in a matter of just a few nanoseconds. Oh, I forgot to mention that I'm waaaayy more smarter than Armin and that I know more about Titans than Hanji does, right? In fact, I know EVERYTHING and I can even predict the future!

My past is like, totally tragic and unbelievable. All the kids bully me for being too smart and I was also abused by my adoptive parents since my real parents were dead. My only best friend was Levi, but I had to leave him alone at the age of three to join the Training Corps. After I graduated at the age of five I protected Levi from all the bullies with my super martial arts skills until he join the Training Corps and graduated too. Oh, I forgot to mention _again_ that I am a black belter of karate, judo, kung fu, taekwondo and 98672 more kinds of martial arts.

I woke up from my fake stupor and realized that Levi had suddenly appeared. He blushed and said with his fanboy voice, "Mary, my love, let's spar~"

I smiled and gave him a peck on the lips,"Levi-chan, you obviously know that you can't beat me~"

Levi's blush deepened and said,"You're gonna bear my babies, Mary."

And so, he raped me. But I didn't really care, since I loved him so much.

Long story short, I gave birth to his babies and we lived happily ever after.

**To be honest EreMika is my OTP and I felt kinda mad when writing this. How dare you steal Eren from Mikasa, Mary sue?! And this fic is not meant to offend anybody. If you were offended, I'd like to apologize. *bows* And what do you readers think about this story? Should I continue this and make it a crack-fic? Let me know in the reviews. ;)**

**That's it, Peace out minna! **


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